The Agony of Defeat

The cliff wall called to Mike, just one more siren beckoning him in his search for release from the pain. It towered above him, immovable and implacable. If he could conquer that huge rock, he could conquer the terrible empty feeling Joy left behind. He drove the piton into the face, dropped the mallet, backed away, and accepted defeat.

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Review of How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide by Howard Mittelmark
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Thousands upon thousands of ambitious writers want to know how to get published. What is the magical key that will unlock the publisher’s door? We read endless books and blog posts on the subject. Join critique groups and subscribe to writer’s magazines. Helping the writer write is a literary genre unto itself.

So in the midst of all this helpful advice, Mittelmark and Newman suggest 200 ways to guarantee a writer’s manuscript will stay unpublished, a sort of backwards way to say the same things that have already been said. This entry into the swirling cauldron of information endeavors to both entertain and inform. At times, the book works as clever and witty entertainment. Occasionally, there are moments of crude or slapstick humor. But does this book work as a guide to writing? Not so much.

Each point is made with an example followed by an explanation. Indeed, each of the cases presented are prime examples of what not to do. Where the premise breaks down is in the following explanations. Even though the examples are sometimes humorous, the explanations are often vague or even sarcastic. There are few follow up examples of how the passage could have been written better.

An entire section is devoted to sex scenes. This section could have been written about any action sequence, not just sex scenes. The focus on sex seems more like a crass attempt to titillate the reader rather than an actual attempt to explain what not to do when writing action sequences. (And yes, sex scenes are action scenes.) As in fiction, a scene is included if it progresses the plot, not solely for the sake of writing the scene. This concentration on one aspect of writing action sequences might even been considered how not to write a how to book.

Will the reader learn something new from this book? Maybe if he or she reads between the lines and interprets everything in reverse. Will the reader be entertained? Sometimes. Depends on the reader’s definition of funny.


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Some Friday Stuff About Me #2

Each week, Feeling Beachie lists four statements with a blank for you to fill in on your own blog. If you want to join the fun and come up with four fill in’s of your own, please email feelingbeachie@gmail.com. If she uses them, she will add you as co-host to the hop! This week’s co-host is Jen from Just another Day. She came up with the last two statements…

This week’s statements:

1. I never stand on a parking lot grate.

2. Christmas is my favorite holiday.

3. I think my husband is the most wonderful guy in the whole world.

4. When there is a free moment I write or I think about writing or I talk about writing or... .

Friday Yum Yum - Shrimp and Corn Casserole

2 bunches green onions, chopped
1 large bell pepper, chopped
2 cans cream style corn
1 lb. uncooked shrimp, peeled, deveined, and chopped
1 pkg herb stuffing mix
2 sticks butter or margarine, divided
1 pint sour cream
2 T minced garlic
Tony Chachere's Creole seasoning, to taste
Black pepper, to taste
Tabasco, to taste
1 C grated cheddar cheese


Saute green onions and bell pepper in one stick of butter or margarine. Add 2 cups chopped shrimp and creamed corn; let cool.


Prepare crust: combine herb stuffing mix with 1 stick of butter or margarine. Press into buttered casserole dish, lining bottom and sides of dish.


Add sour cream to shrimp mixture; season with garlic. Tony Chachere's (or any other seasoning blend that includes red pepper and salt), black pepper, and Tabasco (red pepper sauce). Bake at 300 degrees F until bubbly, probably about 30 mins. If desired, sprinkle grated cheese on top before serving.


Tony Chachere's Creole seasoning and Tabasco are both products of Louisiana that add heat to any dish. If these products are unavailable in your area, try substituting any seasoning mix that adds heat.

His Dry Wit

elastic wit

pulled to the fringe

dry twisting elemental humor

labor of pleasure

doubles the fun

dissolves the gloom

cancels the harsh

sounds of too much serious

I was thinking of my hubby when I wrote this. His dry wit first drew me to him. Not everyone gets his humor, but no one makes me laugh like he does. When I need it most.

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Some Friday Stuff About Me

Each week, Feeling Beachie lists four statements with a blank for you to fill in on your own blogs. If you want to join the fun and come up with four fill in’s of your own, please visit her blog at Feeling Beachie. If she uses them, she will add you as co-host to the hop!

This week’s statements:

1. Sometimes I eat chocolate pudding and peanut butter together.

2. I try to forget high school.

3. Deciding what to do next before I decide to be lazy is such a pain sometimes.
4. Writing is my favorite thing in the whole wide world.

#FridayYumYum - Crawfish Fettucini

1 1/2 sticks butter or margarine
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
1 bunch green onions and tops, chopped
3 to 4 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 C flour
1/2 C water
2 lb crawfish tails
1 lb box Mexican hot Velveeta (processed cheese), cubed
1 pint half & half
salt & pepper to taste
Parmesan cheese
24 oz egg noodles cooked according to package directions

Melt butter and saute celery, bell pepper, green onions, and garlic about 15 to 20 mins. Add flour. Blend well. Add water and mix. Cook over low heat for about 5 mins., then add crawfish. Cook about 15 mins.

Add Velveeta (processed cheese) and stir until cheese melts. Add half & half. Add salt and pepper to taste. Drain cooked noodles. Mixture will be a little thin, but that is normal. The extra liquid will absorb during baking. Mix all ingredients together and place in 9 x 13 in. baking dish. Spread Parmesan cheese on top of casserole. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees F until hot and bubbly.